With Mr. Nomad's new duties here in WA, I'm left to do more solo parenting. More than I've had to in a few years. The Pentagon might not have been our cup of tea, but it was a more "normal" life. Alas, here we are.
The other night as I was putting Bubby down for the night, tired crankiness set in--me not Bubby. Could he have been a better behaved boy. Yes. Reality check: He is a 3 year old, strong headed boy who was just as tired as his momma. As I was trying to put on the jammies, finish up brushing the teeth, etc. . . , he was wiggling around and being a pill. My anger begin to rise, and for some strange reason I began to sing. Not for Bubby, but for me!
Do you know the song that goes like this:
Be patient. Be patient.
Don't be in such a hurry.
When you get, impatient,
you'll only start to worry.
Remember, that God is patient too.
Just think of all the times,
that He must wait for you.
This is a song from one of the Children's Verses CD's we listened to ad nausium when The General was a collicky infant (children's singing voices were soothing to him).
I instantly felt a calmness wash over my body. In that moment, when I turned to God, He helped me be kind and loving.
So when this momma got herself together, instead of scolding and huffing about, I gently tucked Bubby in for the night. It was a good thing. Bubby's being a pill declined, and I was able to kiss him good night and walk away with a smile. In the past it would have been lots of frustration, maybe some yelling, followed up with a solid helping of guilt.
I share this story, not to toot my own horn. Rather, I'd like to share what worked for me on one crazy night in hopes that another momma will spare herself the tantrums I'm known for ;). I also would like to hear from you, my dear readers. Now that we are back to the real Air Force, I'm going to be doing more parenting on my own. Let's face it, I can't say, "Children be kind, follow the example of Christ." And promptly turn around and be short and curt with them when they aren't behaving. What do you do to remain calm in difficult situations? How do you "keep your cool"?
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I KNOW that song - - from a long, long time ago!! Does a turtle sing it on the Children's Verses CD? Cuz for some reason it makes me think of turtles. :D
ReplyDeleteabroadermark: I think it's from the Bullfrogs & Butterflies/ Music Machine Record- yes, record. I sing that song too! I'm 26 and listened to that record all the time as a kid. I still remember a few songs, word for word.
ReplyDeleteTami: Thank you for that. It's helpful because I, like yourself, have a strong headed little boy and after a long day his energy level (far exceeding mine) really becomes frustrating at times. When I can, I avoid yelling at all costs. I hate yelling and I hate listening to yelling. So, when I'm really torked and want to yell, I try to lower my voice a level instead of raising it. I don't always accomplish my goal, but when I do it works for me.
Desirae is a pill much of the time. This is what God has given me and he doesn't give us more than e can handle and he doesn't make mistakes. I'm only now learning how unique it is to be flexible in parenting. Maybe it's because I had such horrible tantrums when I was a child, I know it's so important to give the child a way out, let him have the wiggling room to amend his own behavior.
ReplyDelete(Strange, it wouldn't let me type more) Anyway, Faith is huge part of it for me, and also Desi's middle name. When we force solutions, nothing good comes of it. The "my way or the highway" attitude causes tantrums. Adjusting ourselves to fit the situation, being flexible, trying something different....works for me. From my own experiences having tantrums for a good part of my life, I see nothing wrong in avoiding a melt down. The things that are said and done during a tantrum are hurtful to the soul to both parties. A little song to ease the tension, uplift 2 hearts, and get you both closer to God....what could be better???!! Awesome!
ReplyDeleteAcckk...my second comment from yesterday evidently didn't post. Let's see...what did I say? Ah yes, I mentioned that I also like to sing to keep my cool. Silliness is a helpful technique too - IF you don't wait too long to implement it. If you get too angry, it just doesn't work. Sometimes pretend screams work wonders too. You scream, but in a silly, joking way. It helps you let off a little steam without scaring the kids too badly. Sometimes it even makes 'em stop the irritating thing they're doing and laugh!
ReplyDeleteAll that solo parenting must be stressful. Just be glad you're doing it in a beautiful new house, and not a tiny old, worn-out, shoe. Heehee...
I love you friend! I can't tell you the number of times I burst into singing that song, usually when one of my children are impatient. I need to start singing it myself.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your input everyone. I will definitely be putting it to use. I tried the fake screaming in the shower with Bubby this afternoon and he calmly said, "Mom, you are just scaring me." I guess it worked, because instead of being annoyed that he was freaking out and wanting a towel, I started laughing.
ReplyDeleteThe solo gig is much easier now that my big kiddos are older. They are great helpers.
I am so very grateful for our beautiful new home. Having space for everything makes it so much easier to keep clean. The other benefit of building is the neighbors are all new. They are just as interested in making new friends as I am, and they are so nice. Sigh. God is good.
I take several deep breathes but still I lose my temper more often than I like and then I too feel guilty. Just know that we are praying for you and we all do the best that we can. Wish we were still neighbors - good neighbors help. Did we tell you that there are several very nice houses for sale on our block? 8-)
ReplyDeleteHelvey Girl, we must invest in that for your little whipper snapper, remind his Grmpa:)
ReplyDeleteI tattle tail to God, it helps. Brenda, I do not recall once seeing you in a snit when we were kids.