One year ago today I was walking around my little base house, numb. Yes this date will forever bring back a whirlwind of emotions. . . .none of which are enjoyable. You see, one year ago my friend Shannon called to tell me her son had passed away. Keeghan had fought brain cancer for over two years, and at the tender age of twelve, he left this world.
Now a year has passed. My friend has moved, I've moved, life has gone on. It doesn't seem fair. I know for my friend life will never be the same again. I know this because after losing his daughter over 8 years ago, my brother still longs for the touch of his little princess. She left us way too early. It is just not the natural order of things, and leaves such tremendous holes.
As the sister, friend, aunt of those who experience loss I feel so completely inadequate. I want so badly to have the perfect gift or words that would be the soothing balm their tender hearts need. I ponder the card, the flowers, the whatever. . .and NOTHING is appropriate. NOTHING can soothe that ache. NOTHING I can do will ever be enough. I procrastinate, hoping to be hit with an inspiration of something so grand all their pain will be magically taken away. In the end I do nothing, which is even worse.
Then I remember, I can do NOTHING on my own. Today I am once again reminded that I need to rely on God to fill those holes, the huge voids my loved ones have experienced.
Which leaves me heading to the place I should always remember to begin, with prayer:
Today I especially come to You Heavenly Father, begging You to cover those hurting with Your love and grace. Guide me in my words, thoughts and actions that I might bring them joy and peace. Guard my words from being unthoughtful or hurtful. I ask this in Your Son's Name. Amen.